


Farkost Fuga

by ioanite



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991), Disney Animated Fandoms
Genre: Community: disney_kink, Dialogue Only Fic, F/M, Humor, IKEA, Prompt Fill, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 17:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ioanite/pseuds/ioanite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picking up your life after a curse is broken sometimes has unexpected side-effects...namely, having to get all new furniture. Fortunately, there's a nearby store run by some nice Swedish people...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farkost Fuga

**Author's Note:**

> The Prompt: "Beauty and the Beast  
> Belle/Adam
> 
> There’s this post on tumblr where someone posted the following comment:
> 
> "So after belle and the beast got married they have to buy all new furniture since like half their castle turned into people"
> 
> And this one person said, "Beauty and the Beast 2: The Trip to Ikea"
> 
> Your prompt is basically that. Go wild."

“Adam…”

“Yes, Belle?”

“I didn’t want to say anything, but…does the castle seem a bit barren to you?”

“Missing furniture, you mean?”

“Well…yes.”

“*sigh*. Unfortunately, yes. I’m afraid I destroyed quite a bit of the furniture after my transformation, and the rest of the furniture you saw was actually…”

“The servants, I know. What should we do about it?”

“I’ve been thinking about that. It’ll take too long to have more furniture custom made, and we need to have furniture for appearance’s sake if nothing else. So I’ve made a few inquiries.”

“Any leads as yet?”

“There is one possibility. One of my footmen came back two days ago and told me that there’s a shop run by some Swedish fellows that offers nice-looking furniture that can be made in a few hours. Since it would all be for show, perhaps that’s our best option.”

“I agree. Should we bring Cogsworth and the others along to help choose the pieces? They’ll be the ones who have to clean it, after all.”

“You’re right. I’ll ask who wants to come along. Besides, we’ll need extra hands to get all the furniture back home.”

 “I’ll ask. You start preparing the wagons.”

***

 “Here it is, sire.”

“My goodness, it’s quite a large establishment, isn’t it? It’s almost the size of the castle!”

“I think you’re right, Belle. How did they get enough to pay for all this?”

“I believe they were quite successful in their home country, sire, and decided to try their fortunes abroad.”

“Shall we go in, Adam?”

“I suppose so. Do we have the list of what we’re looking for?”

“I took the liberty of canvassing the entire castle and noting what we could most use, and categorized them by importance. Then I…”

“Yes, yes, thank you, Cogsworth. We’ll look into it once we’ve had a look around the place.”

“ _Sacre bleu!_ This place is, is…enormous! I believe they may sell the entire world here!”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“Why don’t we split up? Cogsworth, you and Lumiere start looking for end tables and other necessary items. Mrs. Potts, take the other footmen and start looking for the kitchen supplies you need. Adam and I will look for personal items like wardrobes and desks.”

 “Very good, Miss Belle. I’ll get right on it. Come along, then, gentlemen.”

“I will track down one of the stockboys. Perhaps they know where we can find the end tables.”

 “Where do you want to start, Adam?”

“I…the desks, I think. I’d like a solid surface to write upon in the library.”

***

“ _There_ you are, sire! I do believe we were lost in those infernal rows for a good fifteen minutes. They should properly label their aisles if they’re going to have such a large selection!”

“I take it from the steady stream of boxes they’ve been loading on the cart that you did manage to find what you were looking for?”

“It wasn’t easy, _monsieur_. They insist on giving everything such strange names. Nothing so simple as “brown table” or even just “bureau”. What is the purpose of naming one table ‘Tarva’, and then a near-identical table ‘Hemnes’? It’s ridiculous!”

“For once, Lumiere, you and I are in complete agreement. Things would be so much more efficient if they stacked by item instead of by random little numbers. And what is the point of showing you a completed product upstairs, only for you to come back _downstairs_ to pick out the item that, apparently, you have to assemble yourself? Why can’t we just buy the finished product and they can assemble another one to show off?”

“And I swear, they would have let me lug those heavy boxes all by myself if the footmen hadn’t made a fuss. Very ungentlemanly, I must say.”

“I’m sorry they treated you like that, Mrs. Potts. They really should be more courteous to a lady.”

“Well, it was all sorted out, sir, and hopefully we won’t have reason to visit them again, so I can keep my good grace about it.”

“They really expect us to assemble all this furniture by ourselves, Adam?”

“Apparently so, Belle, but the salesman assured me that it was very simple to put together. They provide instructions and the necessary tools.”

“ _Very_ unorthodox, I must say.”

“Well, maybe that’s the way they do things in Sweden, Cogsworth.”

“More likely that’s what they want you to think, Miss Belle.”

***

“Wait, does this mean we turn it upside down?”

“I think it means we flip the panel around so the yellow side faces us.”

“This is absurd. Why do they tell us what to do via pictures? Do they really think nobody _reads_ anymore?”

“You’re so lovely when you’re indignant, Belle.”

“If it’s any consolation, _Madame_ , I think they only did it this way because they thought it would be easier to explain.”

“Besides, given the names they gave to their furniture, I’m not entirely sure written instructions would have been much help.”

“They aren’t a lot of help _now_. Look, I’ve followed the instructions to the letter, and this chest of drawers is _still_ wobbly.”

“You must need another peg.”

“They only _gave_ me sixteen.”

“Remember, sir, control your temper.”

“I think I need to take a long walk. Why don’t you take over for  a while, Cogsworth, or else I’ll wind up smashing _this_ furniture too. Belle, will you join me?”

“I’d be delighted to, Adam. Good luck, all of you.”

“I think we’re going to need it.”

“Hush, Lumiere. We just need to apply a little concentrated effort.”

***

“Well, Cogsworth?”

“I am happy to report, sir, that all of the furniture has been assembled and put in place. The rooms should look much fuller the next time you see them?”

“Wonderful job. Give my compliments to the rest of the staff.”

“Duly noted, sir.”

“And now the more important question; how _useable_ is the furniture?”

“Ah. That is a slightly more complicated answer. We carefully tested everything after we put it in its proper place, and while most of it should be sturdy enough, there are five chairs, two end tables, and a drawer on one desk that either wobble when pressure is put on it or seems particularly reluctant to open. I took the liberty of relegating those to more rarely used rooms, where they will be less likely to be discovered and broken by a guest.”

“Thank you, Cogsworth. Go take a rest, and tell the staff the same; you’ve earned it.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“*sigh*”

“Relax, Adam. It’s all over now.”

“But Belle, what if the chairs collapse under our weight, or those damn pegs pop out when we’re opening the wardrobe? Given everything else…”

"Then we’ll just use something else temporarily while we get a proper craftsman to make us something more durable. I highly doubt everything will break all at once.”

“As always, you find the most logical solution, Belle.”

“I do what I can, Adam. Now come on, let’s go unwind in the library. That had the least furniture replaced, and we can get some reading done while we try to forget about all this. After all, you helped build a lot of the furniture, you deserve a break too.”

“After you, my dearest Belle.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this fill came from two actual IKEA products.


End file.
